He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Congratulations! We have a period
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