the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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