it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
They have beer where we have blood.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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