you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Pants are for mortals
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
