im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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