Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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