I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize