Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
