remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
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Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
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I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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