In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
