8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
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He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
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Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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