too bad you live with your parents still
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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