My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i believe in u and ur pee
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize