Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize