Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize