I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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