dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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