It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize