so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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