She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
