he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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