some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize