I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
