I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Quick, to the slutcave!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you didnt know i had herpes?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
