His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
