do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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