ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize