did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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