Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
