if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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