What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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