The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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