My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I am one with the molecules
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
