So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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