Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket