I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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