what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
