I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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