Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize