i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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