Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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