you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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