dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
