I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
