8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.