I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.