Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for