I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow