She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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