my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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