I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
