i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
