so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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