sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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